it's friday at 11pm. i am FINALLY back on the internet. wow, what a stupid week, starting with the move.

i'll detail more later. suffice to say, it's good to be back.

Dear soon-to-be-ex-roommate.

What part of we HAVE to vacate the apartment by NOON tomorrow don't you understand?

Why the FUCK didn't you move out all your shit this morning when you had the elevator BOOKED?

You CANNOT move out tomorrow night. You are a class 1 idiot.

Only 3 people on my FL are gonna care, but I thought I'd share regardless.

From Zap2It:

i know i'm not nearly ready for the move, too much packing to do. but the roommate is severely pissing me off. pens are constantly going missing (i need at least 1 at my desk so i can record my blood glucose twice a day; 3 have vanished in the past 10 days alone). he ties up the computer and phone for hours. he STILL hasn't found a new place to live (hello, you got the news October 1st) and he hasn't booked his move-out yet. when i'm not home, he locks all the cats in the bedroom. they end up in there until i come home and let them out.

coupled with the fact that he constantly ate my food when he was unemployed and hasn't once offered to buy/replace groceries since he landed his new job...

jesus. 14 more days.

8 sex tapes and 30 topless photos?

i never thought i'd ever say this to a woman...

keep your clothes on, carrie prejean.

There's a Doctor Horrible one-shot "origin" issue comic book (written by Zack Whedon) coming out next week?

Nerdgasm.

Fox cancelled Dollhouse today. They will air the remaining episodes in December/January, however.

This sucks. Fuck Fox.

my uncle bernard had surgery yesterday to remove his cancer. they took his right lung and an aortic valve.

a few years ago he had a quadruple bypass. here's hoping they got it all, and he can begin to heal.

Oh SNAP. Hehehehehe.

1) Carrie Prejean (c'mon, you really need Google to remember her?) made a sex tape (which is why the lawsuit against the Miss USA pageant was dropped). I want to go to there.

2) V is off to a nice start. I hope ABC doesn't fuck it over. I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

3) Caught an ad for Caprica (due to start in January). Meh.

4) I'm more concerned about teh kitties acclimating to the new apartment than I am.

5) Got an email from the dating website (well, I got emails from 2 different people) last week. Am meeting 1 for a drink this weekend. She types in all caps with no punctuation. This oughta be a laugh.

6) I obviously don't have enough time at work to update past 5).

Not only a decent Buffy reference in the first 5 minutes, but Firefly visual-commentary gags as well? Someone on that show has a wicked sense of humor.

gorramit, why didn't anyone remind me "BSG: The Plan" was available for download? -FLAILS-

From Joss Whedon:

Hey kids and parents of kids and super-old, like ancestor-old-but-not-dead-yet-type people, just poking my oversized head in to say that the rumors are true... unless something very odd happens in the next few months, I will have the privilege of shooting an episode of GLEE. Why GLEE? Because I love cops, serial killers and gritty urban drama (I haven't seen the show yet). Why me? Because they're struggling and can't afford real directors. And to head off a few queries:

No, this doesn't mean Dollhouse definitely won't get a back nine. Our numbers mean that! But I kid. Okay, we're not exactly saving all the good stuff for 14-22, but nobody's closed the door. If D'House suddenly busts wide, huzzah, we'll still bring it, and I'll still go and direct an episode of Glee, because of my love of cops. These realities can co-exist. And possibly cross over, at least in fiction that I have wri - read. About.

What can we expect from a 'Joss Whedon' epsiode of Glee? An episode of Glee. God willin' and the crik don't rise, a good one. A television director's job is, on some level, to be anonymous; to find the most compelling way to present a story without calling attention to himself. I had a wonderful time doing just that on The Office, and hope to again. A guest director can bring a huge amount to the party (we've had CRAZY talent on Dollhouse), but the party isn't his. I just want to work with good people on a show that I like enough to have watched every episode several times. (I lied: I HAVE watched the show. And seriously, when do the cops show up?)

Whom will I kill? When will that go away? Is death really the only thing I'm known for? I'd hope not. You know how many people in the world actually die? ALL OF THEM. You know how many I've killed? Statistically, somewhat fewer. Can't we focus on another element of my work? Having said that, probably Principal Figgins. (No! I kid! God.)

Anyway, I hope that clears things up. I'm going to do my best, and more importantly, I'm going to do my best not to gush like a fanboy for eight straight days on set. Don't worry. I practiced with Bamber. I'm a pro.

Happy Monday. Especially for me. -j. 

(Yeah, I had to bold that part 'cuz of the damned haters out there. -coughkittenboardcough-)

How awesome is this workplace? And how long until The Office parodies it?

Okay, ScarJo on SNL last night wasn't a surprise, given her hubby (my nemesis, Ryan Reynolds) was hosting.

But how the hell did they land a cameo from Madonna? And why'd they waste her on such a lame sketch?

oy my feet are killin' me.

No offence to my friends in Chicago but Rio was the right choice for the 2016 Olympics. It's never been in SA. Gotta spread the love.

Does my entire family want me to cut ties with them???

Eleven Things One Should Never Say While Climaxing with a New Lover.

BY ADAM SKALMAN

- - - -

1. "Please don't let them send me back to prison!"

2. "Only three more until my thetan becomes Clear!"

3. "Put the lotion in the basket!"

4. "You're not my real mom!"

5. "We are going to be the most amazing parents!"

6. "Remember, I was never here!"

7. "I'm a Libertarian!"

8. "You will live to regret this!"

9. "It was Earth all along!"

10. "I was the one who took your Criterion Collection DVD of The Royal Tenenbaums from its case, replacing it with Disc Nine of that Ken Burns documentary on tintype pornography. I am not sorry I did it!"

11. "Can you move a little to the left? You're ruining my shot!"

instead you get, well kind of an update. from me.

go figure.

shit.

um. okay. new meds. don't think they're strong enough. i expect tweaking. but i'm not huddled in a ball so that's good.

money's still a bitch. and the roommate owes big time. spinning record. i've had enough. i won't keep on this merry-go-round any longer. i'm actually apartment hunting. for me and the cats. alone. got a couple of places to look at tomorrow. saw something that -could- work, but i haven't jumped at it. it means moving out of the downtown core to find a place that's cheaper and affordable. i'm surprisingly okay with that. i'll have to pick up a monthly metropass to travel. again, not horrible.

work is steady. last two weekends i had to put in OT. don't make extra though, as i'm on salary. but given the trade-off of all the nights i got to leave early, it balances.

good lord i crave balance.

and sex. jeebus i crave it. i'm not dating. this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who knows me. i've tried the dating website plenty of fish and keep pulling up boots. seriously, does my profile smell or something? i dunno. maybe i shouldn't even try to date. that stressor alone can get nuts.

weird dreams. kinda lucid ones that revolve around my life, but i only remember fragments and can't put the pieces together. at least there are no body parts hanging from the ceiling. those were bad.

i'm still not talking with my father, and i'm good with that. a week ago sunday i visited with my mum, step-father, brothers, sister-in-law and nephews. thankfully the elephant in the room didn't trample over everything. minor anxiety attack when donna's sister and husband showed up. i'm usually okay around them but it almost felt like an intrusion, and i wasn't ready for it. what does that mean?

i'm hoping the roommate (soon to be ex) ponies up the cash he promised for october 2nd so i can get my pvr back online. i'm tired of downloading shows off the internet. i wanna tape 'em and watch the next morning. this sucks royal. but at least the hydro is finally caught up.

i felt it the exact moment my anti's wore off tonight. whoop whoop.

the doc wants to switch my anti-depressants. which means, since last friday, i've been on only half-my regular dosage of cipralex. i have another 5 days until i can start taking the new stuff.

to say i'm feeling the change acutely would be an understatement.

another 8 pages written today.

i fear for when the draft is done, and i'm left with that void of "what next?"

i give up. completely. it's just not worth trying any longer.

I'm tired of coming in second, just missing the opportunity. Getting so turned around I don't see straight and then getting hit in the head.

When do things get better?

On the plus side...
I've written somewhere around 20 pages since Saturday.

On the down side...
It's not the play I'm supposed to be writing. I'm reworking 'Mercy' (now titled 'A Song for Rachel'). I SHOULD be writing 'The State of New York v. Peter Pan'.


On the plus side...
I'm off this week to avoid burn-out.

On the down side...
I can't go to Dragon*Con and be with my friends because there's no money (especially because my roommate is just now paying me for August...)


On the plus side...
I'm on a mild upswing.

On the down side...
I really miss my friends. I haven't talked to Kate, Eric, Jess, Anne, Tara, Fawn and Megs in forever. And it's my fault for not being able to get myself online.

My uncle Bern, a few years older than my father (early 70s) -- had a quadruple bypass two years ago -- has now been diagnosed with lung cancer.

Jeebus.

I can't remember the last time I felt truly happy. I have fleeting moments, but that's all there is.

I remembered. I wish I didn't.

A happy pre-day birthday to Anne. :)

my bastard father is dead to me.

Stolen from my friend Eric...

Saw the midnight screening.

Awesome. It will fuck your shit up.

i'm in massive debt. things are bad. tonight i get an email from my brother who's digging into me now via a conversation he had with my dad.

and my family's wondering why i've shut them out (and shut myself down) the past month.